Just sit right back, you’ll hear a tale,
The tale of a fateful trip
That started from a tourist trap
Aboard this giant ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing man,
The skipper brave and sure,
Two thousand passengers set sail
For a one fortnight tour,
A one fortnight tour.
The bigotry was getting rough,
The giant ship was tossed
From every port that they had planned,
Vacation plans were lost.
The ship then tried another place
Where poor natives abound,
Who would put up with anything
To bring some cash around,
Bring some cash around.
To Alexandria they sailed
When Istanbul said no
They sailed around the clock without
Another other place to go,
No other place to go.
Now headed back to Christian lands
Where locals do not care:
No Gilligan,
No skipper dude,
Some millionaires, but no wife,
A Broadway star,
And the rest
Not on Gilligan’s Isle!
Poet’s note: Reciting this to the opening theme from Gilligan’s Island makes it more fun. Unable to find a welcoming port of call anywhere between Istanbul and Alexandria, the Scarlet Lady tourists fled home to Europe. See: “LGBTQ+ cruise ship refused entry to Egypt days after Turkey turned it away” by Amelia Hill, The Guardian, 9 July 2026.