When Trapper Schmitt met Hawkeye Smith
We knew they would throw down.
Schmitt had set this up to be seen
By everyone in town.
I’ve got the goods, said Trapper Schmitt
Tho’ I’m not one to brag.
I’ve gathered shocking evidence:
Jack Smith is a dirtbag.
Smith flew down south quite sneakily
To see Atlanta Hawks,
Which proves he is a criminal,
Yet he’s the one who squawks.
Schmitt grinned and savored victory;
He’d caught Jack Smith at last!
The crowd murmured wonderingly:
Would Smith go down this fast?
Jack Smith just sat there in his chair.
He looked a bit bemused,
For he had never seen the Hawks,
For which he was accused.
On that date, he now remembered
Seeing Caitlin Clark score;
No one could forget Caitlin Clark,
How she made the crowd roar!
That was nowhere near Atlanta,
Which troubled Schmitt a bit;
His evidence now proved worthless,
Because Smith’s story fit.
Federal marshals were with Smith
When he saw the Hawkeyes
Beat Maryland; now Smith beat Schmitt.
Imagine his surprise.
Back in twenty-twenty-four, Clark
Scored thirty points to win.
Now – once again – she’s a hero
And Schmitt just lost his grin.
Poet’s Note: In rare moments, sports heroes actually engage in enduring heroism. Caitlin Clark dominated a basketball game and, in the process, saved an honest man’s reputation.