Of all female homicides in 2018 in which the victim-to-offender relationship could be identified, 92% of victims were killed by a man they knew, and 63% were killed by current husbands, boyfriends, or ex-husbands, “The Silent Epidemic of Femicide in the United States,” Sanctuary for Families (online), March 10, 2023.
“But not all men,” he said. That night
I dreamed of what I knew: my mother
saying keep your knees together
and sit like a lady.
She didn’t want to create a cultured lass
or dress me up in fake class.
But to warn me that to live,
women must assume
that all men could attack.
Just as I have to act
like all ticks have lyme disease.
That’s how we women live.
There’s little respite in our homes.
Lurks in our lizard brain
the dread of death by partners
who are men. Alert are we who know
that “not all men” fails to decrease
the risk that we’ll be among 63 percent
of all women murdered daily by male
partners—even if we women
happen to be his “best friend.”